Q2 Quotes Database
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Themes
Updates
3/5/2009 - Quotes removed
2 quotes have been removed from the database.
7/8/2007 - Internal optimisation
The codebase has been optimised to speed up site access, and to make scripted access to this site simpler.
13/7/2007 - Some irrelevant quotes removed
20-30 quotes that relate to programming and operating systems have been removed because they probably aren't relevant to most people.
6/7/2007 - Minor correction
A minor correction has been made to the quotes database.
29/6/2007 - Theme bug fixed
A minor bug in the One theme has been fixed.
21/6/2007 - 1000 new quotes
1000+ new quotes have been added to the Q2 Quotes Database.
18/6/2007 - 900 new quotes, tweaks to site
900+ new quotes have been added to the Q2 Quotes Database. The site design and backend have been tweaked too.
11/6/2007 - Search box added
A search box has been added to each page if you're using the Simple or Bash.org themes. If you're using the Original or Lo-Fi theme then there's a Search link at the top of each page. The search results page has had a new coat of paint too.
7/6/2007 - Theme bugfix
Another bug in the theme code has been fixed. That'll teach me to test fully ;). Everything should be just fine and dandy now!
5/6/2007 - New theme, theme bugfix
The default theme has been changed from Original to Simple'n Clean, but there was a bug in the theme code that sometimes showed the new theme only on the home page, and showing the old theme on the other pages. This has been fixed. Also, there is a fresh new theme called One! Just select "One" from the drop-down above to select the new theme.
30/5/2007 - Formatting error fixed
Spaces at the beginning and end of quotes have been removed. E.g. " blah, blah, blah " -> "blah, blah, blah". The quotes in the full text have been randomly sorted again too. Also, the random quotes generater will not add a newline to the ends of quotes anymore.
The Q2 database is a collection of over 11000 funny/proverbial quotes. More...
Here's some randomly chosen quotes from the collection:
Impartial, adj.: Unable to perceive any promise of personal advantage from espousing either side of a controversy or adopting either of two conflicting opinions. -- Ambrose Bierce, “The Devil's Dictionary”
“My good intentions are completely lethal.” -- Margaret Atwood
“The American people know what they want, and deserve to get it, good and hard.” -- Henry Louis Mencken
They'll beam it out of our bowels. -- Mark, in reference to a future time when toilets are no longer necessary.
LOQUACITY, n. A disorder which renders the sufferer unable to curb his tongue when you wish to talk. -- Ambrose Bierce
I understand the horn-rimmed cachet. -- Christopher DeJong, ocassional wearer of horn-rims.
“I just think he's gonna get awfully tired!” -- Ryan, about the song “I'm gonna rock and roll all night and party every day”.
The only normal people are the ones you don't know very well. -- Capt. Squid
“I will require sufficient beer to process this effectively.” -- me after seeing my web search return 2000+ entries.
When my daughter was about seven years old, she asked me one day what I did at work. I told her I worked at the college- that my job was to teach people how to draw. She stared back at me, incredulous, and said, “You mean they forget?” -- Howard Ikemoto
There is a courtesy of the heart; it is allied to love. From it springs the purest courtesy in the outward behavior. -- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
“Don't make me pull this plane over” -- Flight attendent's remark, after we're all too drunk on the plane and Kim almost falls down.
The things you fear are undefeatable, not by there nature, but by your approach -- Jewel Kiltcher (Singer)
A lifetime is more than sufficiently long for people to get what there is of it wrong. -- Anonymous
Love is much nicer to be in than an automobile accident, a tight girdle, a higher tax bracket, or a holding pattern over Philadelphia. -- Judith Viorst
Painting is a blind man's profession. He paints not what he sees, but what he feels, what he tells himself about what he has seen. -- Pablo Picasso
“I was waiting for the universe to dispense some justice. Then I realized that the universe is too damn slow. But putting Nair in a shampoo bottle only takes a few minutes.” -- Nancy
“I don't know exactly what democracy is. But we need more of it.” -- Anonymous Chinese Student, during protests in Tianamen Square, Beijing, 1989
If we do not maintain Justice, Justice will not maintain us. -- Francis Bacon
Love can cure heartbreaks, misfortune, or tragedy. It is the eternal companion. -- Anonymous
He had that rare weird electricity about him -- that extremely wild and heavy presence that you only see in a person who has abandoned all hope of ever behaving “normally.” -- Hunter S. Thompson, “Fear and Loathing ‘72”
“They told me I was gullible ... and I believed them!”
Oppernockity tunes but once.
Your fortune stateth: You will be imprisoned for contributing your time and skill to a bank robbery.
An apple a day makes 365 apples a year.
Get more here! Or get quotes other ways. Or you can even view the entire collection at once here.
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